• Author Archives: Tom B

    Wrestling On Air with Brad Ward: Episode 1, 8/21/2015

    The wait is over! This groundbreaking new audio experience starring Brad Ward and company redefines how you think about wrestling podcasts.

    Join host Brad Ward (@BradWardFight) along with Wrestling On Earth’s own T-Boyz, Tim (@TimWelcomed) and Tom (@TomBlargh), and audio editor Scott (@SocksMahoney) on a magical journey you surely will not forget! Listen below or download the podcast here.

    Episode 1, 8/21/2015: Temperamental Pilot

    In this pilot episode, Brad and the boys talk about elevator interactions with nice wrestlers, Swerved, muscle relaxants, the sweet sound of Frankie Kazarian’s Vex Temper, Brad’s new match rating system and a bunch of dumb wrestling.


    Wrestling on Air – A Temperamental Pilot

    Send us questions!

    While no questions were taken in this episode, the inbox is open questions to be answered on future installments of Wrestling On Air with Brad Ward. Just send your questions, comments, goofs, spoofs and opinions to wrestlingonair@gmail.com.

    All Aboard the S.S. Strong Style: The G1 is Coming: Fashion Show

    Shelly Deathlock cares too much about Japanese wrestling and, as Captain of the S.S. Strong Style, she’s here to welcome you on board and fill you in on what’s going on in the world of puro. In this series, she’s preparing for the G1 25.

    Today was the day of the G1 Climax press conference, where all the guys turned up trying to look their best, as well as pose. Shelly covered New Japan’s finest fashion plates on Twitter, which we’ve collected below.

    @TomBlargh is also going to weigh in because, having listened to every single episode of Josh Mathews’ Male Fashion Aficionado podcast, he is now EXTREMELY educated about fashion as it relates to wrestling. Let’s go!

    Tanahashi

    g1tanahashi

    Deathlock: Tanahashi looks dapper in pinstripes, blue, & cream, but I don’t think diagonal stripes are legal.

    Tom: The Ace of the Century. The Japanese Shawn Michaels. The state of that tie. I also think he should have done something different with his (admittedly beautiful) hair, given the formal attire. Maybe a hair clip, I don’t know.

    Togi Makabe

    g1togi

    Deathlock: NEVER champ Togi Makabe wears his standard formal attire: suit, open shirt, chain. Very nice.

    Tom: Your dad’s been kicked out by your mum again but he doesn’t give a FUCK.

    AJ Styles

    g1aj

    Deathlock: AJ Styles wore jeans and a ballcap for the G124, so a suit, even without a tie, is a vast improvement.

    Tom: How many hand gestures can one man do within the span of a few seconds? You just found out, baby, courtesy of Allan Jones Styles. Continue reading

    Thanks, Dusty: Remembering The American Dream

    Dusty Rhodes passed away today at the age of 69. We didn’t know him, but we were all fans. Joey and Tom wanted to share some of their memories of “The American Dream”.

    thanks-dusty

    Joey:

    Thanks for reading. Things like these are always difficult to write but I’ve realized in some of the past few wrestling deaths, that writing about it tends to help me personally get a little closure and it just feels good to put your thoughts out there during a tough day. Continue reading

    The Big Dog Bites Back: Legends of Wrestling, June 7th, 2015

    My name is Tom and I am The Big Dog.

    I attended the Legends of Wrestling show at Citifield baseball stadium in Queens, New York on Sunday – I live-tweeted some of the highlights from @TomBlargh, before writing the following report for “Big” Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer. Unfortunately, Melty chose not to publish it so the Observer’s loss is Wrestling On Earth’s gain!

    BTW

    Attendance: A couple thousand or so, probably? Matt Striker announced it as 8,000 at one point, though that was definitely a lie. Long lines for all the autograph signings and hot dogs and that. Lots of kids, lots of guys walking around with replica belts on their shoulders.

    Pre-show: There were a few matches. One of them had Pete Gas! Pete’s looking healthy. There was another one that was a tag match before being turned into a battle royal for no reason, and to the apparent surprise of all the wrestlers.

    Matt Striker and Ashley Massaro came out to do commentary, which is piped-in over the intercom. Matt Striker was as dreadful as you’d expect, Ashley was mostly silent.

    Match 1: Two Lads vs. Another Two Lads

    Can’t remember any of their names tbh. One was a big fat old guy with gross bleached blonde hair, a bit like how Raven used to have it. John Cena Sr. is managing one team so they pipe-in “let’s go Cena / Cena sucks” chants. There are a LOT of piped-in chants over the course of the evening, it’s pretty amazing. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine is managing the other team and my goodness but he has lovely silky hair.

    WINNER: Greg Valentine’s mates.
    Star Rating: ****

    Valentine puts one of the other lads in a figure four after the match. It takes a while, but he kind of gets there in the end! Almost!

    Match 2: Tyrus vs. Brian Myers

    Brian Myers is dressed up in Mets-themed gear and came out with one of the team’s mascots. Despite this shameless pandering, he doesn’t get much of a response. When Tyrus comes out, they play piped-in “Funkosaurus” chants. Nobody joins in, but they still use it as justification for old Tyrus getting on the mic and saying “funk you” to the crowd. Sensational banter, classic heel heat.

    WINNER: Curt Hawkins
    Star Rating: ****1/4

    After the match, Tyrus picked up Ashley and carried her to the back. No explanation why.

    Match 3: “Hacksaw” James Duggan vs. Robbie E.

    Everyone loves old Hacksaw and he seemed to be having a grand old time. There was some debate between myself and @JoeySplashwater over whether he’d take his t-shirt off to wrestle but: he did not.

    WINNER: Hacksaw Jim Duggan
    Star Rating: ****1/2

    Match 4: Tommy Dreamer vs. Wes Brisco

    Wes Brisco comes out to “Bad to the Bone” for some reason. He has leg tattoos now that look absolutely fucking dreadful:

    wes-brisco-leg-tattoos

    BREAKING WES BRISCO TATTOO UPATE:

    If that’s the case, he should always wear long pants, they’re bloody awful.

    Thomas Dreamer came out wearing a Mets jersey and looked like someone’s dad, though he is someone’s dad so I guess that’s fair enough.

    At one point, Dreamer gives Brisco an RKO, which he kicks out of. Heavy shot at Randy Orton. Brisco gets finished with a DDT though, so hopefully that’ll make Steve Austin happy.

    WINNER: Tommy Dreamer
    Star Rating: ****

    Continue reading

    The Merch Table: Suplex City, Bitch

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every so often, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: SUPLEX CITY, BITCH.

    RedBubble has 60 different “Suplex City, Bitch” t-shirts. Yes, really. I’m now going to look at every single one of the bastards because fuck you and fuck me. LET’S GET STARTED.

    1

    Okay, Brock’s mad old face in the background, great. Cool. Lovely stuff.

    2

    The text underneath says “break necks, kill egos”. I don’t know why.

    3

    He is quite literally performing a suplex onto a city there! How about that?!?

    4

    The exclamation mark really drives it home.

    Continue reading

    Art Is Wrestling: Danny Kelly

    Not to be mistaken for the similarly titled (and now defunct) Mike Quackenbush promotion or the Colt Cabana podcast, Art is Wrestling trawls the Internet to showcase some of the best wrestling art we can find.

    Up this time, Danny Kelly! You can follow Danny on Twitter or on Facebook. Here are some of our favorites of his so far (and they’re not all wrestling – make sure you scroll all the way down to see his amazing homages to Seinfeld and The Golden Girls):

    NXT Superstars

    NXT

    Macho Man, Hulk Hogan and Miss Elizabeth

    MachoHulk

    Continue reading

    Wrestling With Food: Sgt. Slaughter’s Mess Hall Dip

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

    sarge-600

    So many things happened on Sunday, guys. 1) My little nephew stood on his own and smiled at me 2) the Royal Rumble was super exciting and worth watching and 3) we learned how to make at-home Taco Bell, by way of the good Sgt. Slaughter.

    Okay, only two of those things are true. Let’s get going to find out which ones!

    We were going over to my brother’s house to watch the Rumble, and it only seemed right to bring something, and since it WAS a wrestling event, why not subject him to this horrible and amazing endeavor? After going through the cookbook, Sgt. Slaughter’s Mess Hall Dip seemed to be the most appropriate

    The ingredients:

    4 tablespoons garlic butter

    2½ – 3lbs ground sirloin

    Salt to taste

    Pepper to taste

    3 (10½ ounce) cans Hormel (or equivalent) no-bean chili

    2 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese (or reduced-fat cream cheese)

    3 cups (12 oz) shredded mild cheddar cheese

    12 oz sour cream (or more if desired)

    Black olives (optional)

    Sarge informs us that this feeds a platoon, and since there were basically 4 of us possibly eating this, I made exactly 1/3 this amount, but probably went a little butter and cheese heavy because I think that’s what God intended.

    dip-ingredients

    Note: The directions below in quotations are all in Sarge’s “own words”, as they were printed in the cookbook. HE IS A VERY AGGRESSIVE MAN.
    Continue reading

    Wrestling With Food: Jericho Doodles

    The WWF Cookbook is a treasure trove of crazy recipes from the Attitude Era, each of which is purportedly the creation of one of the wrestlers. In Wrestling With Food, Sydney is on a mission to try cooking all of them to see if any are actually edible.

    Happy New Year, my little buttery crumpets! Are you ready for another recipe review featuring a few scattered, poorly lit images and hidden text? Let’s begin!

    doodles-600

    Okay, so here’s the truth. I’m annoyed that they gave the delicious snickerdoodle to Jericho for Jericho Doodles: “Doodles Are Jericho”. I realize at the time when this fantastic cookbook was actually published, he was a bigger deal and more fun. I absolutely remember how exciting his entrance was when I would watch wrestling then, but now… well, he’s a guy who seems decidedly less excited about wrestling. Nowadays, he’ll do a perfectly FINE AMA on Reddit but is he the Keanu Reeves of the AMA? He is not.

    What I’m saying is, today’s Jericho kind of deserves a corn bread recipe. A chicken soup recipe, maybe. Meatloaf? I dunno. But snickerdoodles are my second favorite type of cookie, and I sort of resented buying my umpteenth bottle of cream of tartar in the name of Chris Jericho and/or Fozzie. SORRY FOR THIS CONTROVERSIAL OPINION.

    Sidenote: I watched Cursed on Netflix the other day (whatever, it was New Year’s Day and I apologize for nothing) and I thought Fozzie was the opening band. Nope! It was Bowling For Soup. Am I doing a disservice to Fozzie or to Bowling For Soup? You decide.

    But let’s get going. As usual, here are the ingredients! And guys, guess how many (different) pictures I of the following items on my phone? If I do a WWF Cookbook dessert recipe, I automatically grab two sticks of butter before even looking at the rest of the list.

    doodle-ingredients

    The ingredients:

    3 ¾ cups flour

    ½ teaspoon baking soda

    ½ teaspoon salt

    ½ cream of tartar

    1 cup (2 sticks) butter

    2 cups plus 3 tablespoons sugar

    2 eggs

    ¼ cup milk

    1 teaspoon vanilla

    1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

    Nothing crazy here. This is a perfectly standard snickerdoodle recipe. I do think they were a little low on the cinnamon but more on that later.

    Continue reading

    All Aboard the S.S. Strong Style: Wrestle Kingdom 9

    Shelly Deathlock cares too much about Japanese wrestling and, as Captain of the S.S. Strong Style, she’s here to welcome you on board and fill you in on what’s going on in the world of puro.

    Even though Tom Blargh is the resident puro expert on Wrestling On Earth — no, on the WHOLE INTERNET — he’s letting me take the reins and break down the card for New Japan’s Wrestle Kingdom 9 in a way we can all relate to.

    wk9

    Wrestle Kingdom 9 is New Japan Pro Wrestling’s 2015 Tokyo Dome show. The show has been annual for more than 9 years, but ever since they started calling it Wrestle Kingdom and numbering it, we’re up to 9. It’s always on January 4th, and it is always a good time.

    This year you can watch it on NJPW’s amazing streaming service NJPWWorld (for ¥999/month with no commitment, yes, seriously), or through Global Force Wrestling’s distribution of it on PPV. GFW’s broadcast will have Jim Ross and Matt Striker ringside in Tokyo providing English commentary, saying everyone’s name wrong, and being really, really excited.

    Here are the ten matches on the main card. Links go to wrestler profiles on http://www.cagematch.net for your convenience (and because I swiped the match listings from there, man, that site is almost as good as Wrestling On Earth).

    IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship Four Way Match

    Screen Shot 2014-12-27 at 16.22.06

    The players: reDRagon (Bobby Fish & Kyle O’Reilly) (c) vs. Forever Hooligans (Alex Koslov & Rocky Romero) vs. Time Splitters (Alex Shelley & KUSHIDA) vs. Young Bucks (Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson)

    A funny thing: At Wrestle Kingdom 8, the Time Splitters came out in a Delorean.

    An important thing: At Wrestle Kingdom 8, the Time Splitters came out in a Delorean.

    Have these guys ever beaten Shinsuke Nakamura one-on-one? No. But the Forever Hooligans are part of his stable, CHAOS, so that makes them the best, I guess, according to Nakamura-math.

    Kaomoji excitement level rating for this match: (((\(@v@)/))) Continue reading

    WWE for Beginners: A Live Show Prep Sheet

    For some reason, my brother-in-law decided that going to the WWE house show tomorrow would be a good time. He’s going to find out how wrong he was.

    Of the eight people going, only myself and my wife watch wrestling with any sort of regularity, so I was asked to create a prep sheet to let everyone know:

    a) Who all the wrestlers are;

    b) What their deal is;

    c) If they’re actually nice people or not (since they’re smart enough to know that wrestlers are often kinda awful and they’d rather not cheer for anyone who’s a big old jerk in real life).

    I’ve had to condense things down and make a few assumptions, but here’s my prep sheet for everyone that’s been announced for the show.

    John Cena

    cena-8-19-raw

    Basically the modern day Hulk Hogan. Beloved by kids, big strong guy, never gives up. Wears colourful shirts. Occassionally raps and tells bad jokes.

    Is he a nice guy?

    I mean, he does a lot of Make-A-Wish stuff, though I think he might not be the coolest guy in town to hang out with. Comes across as a bad boyfriend to fellow wrestler Nikki Bella in the 100% truthful reality show ‘Total Divas’.

    Seth Rollins

    RAW_1102_Photo_237

    Two-tone hair. Dresses like ’90s Batman. Very good at being an obnoxious jerk. Stamps on people’s heads. Has a gold briefcase.

    Is he a nice guy?

    Likely to be lovely for reals.

    Randy Orton

    orton_cape_attacked_guilty

    Oily dude. Dumb sleeve tattoos. His dad was ‘Cowboy’ Bob Orton. Responsible for that ‘RKO outta nowhere’ viral nonsense you might have seen.

    Is he a nice guy?

    Nicer than he used to be but that’s not saying much because he used to poop in ladies’ bags. Prone to temper tantrums. Still seems like a bit of a nasty piece of work. Continue reading