• Author Archives: Tom B

    WWE Battleground 2017 Preview and Predictions

    We love flags.

    Usually, members of the site @JoeyOnEarth, @TimWelcomed, @TomBlargh and @OrinAnne would share their thoughts on what to expect from tonight’s show. In the spirit of democracy though, this time we’re putting it in the hands of some of the fantastic members of the WWE Universe, who are sure to have some fascinating insights!

    Tye Dillinger vs. Aiden English on the kick off

    Sami Zayn vs. Mike Kanellis (with Maria Kanellis)

    Continue reading

    WWE Extreme Rules 2017 Preview and Predictions

    Let’s get extreme.

    Giving their thoughts and predictions on what to expect from the PPV are members of the site @JoeyOnEarth, @TimWelcomed@TomBlargh and @OrinAnne.

    Rich Swann and Sasha Banks vs. Noam Dar and Alicia Fox on the kick-off show

    Joey:

    Sasha Banks being involved in a cruiserweight feud is a good idea for the division. Hopefully it leads to more interaction between the normal wrestlers and the cruiserweights instead of pretending they are in different worlds. Noam Dar is probably my least favorite cruiserweight (sorry not sorry) but there’s a lot charm in the act here with Alicia Fox. The match will probably be one of the more entertaining ones on the show.

    Interest Level: 6/10
    Prediction: Sasha Banks and Rich Swann win.

    Tim:

    I am still incredibly bored by everything on Raw. There are a couple of things on Smackdown that really grab me. NXT is a super enjoyable show to me right now. Raw? It’s not what I am looking for at this juncture. Anyway, while I was trying to come up with what to say I did this.

    Interest Level: 1/10
    Prediction: Banks and Swann win.

    Tom:

    I for one am absolutely delighted to see Alicia Fox make her startling return to a PPV, even if it is on the preshow. She had a rough couple of years on Total Divas, given that she was chiefly featured as either Paige or Rosa Mendes’ friend, but now she’s “the richest prize on 205 Live” and she’s back on top.

    I enjoy her and Noam Dar as an odd couple and the idea of seeing Sasha Banks in a mixed tag match with Rich Swann as her partner is such a weird shift from everything else she’s done on the main roster that I’m fairly into this. I’ll take weird over boring any day of the week!

    Interest Level: 7/10
    Prediction: Rich Swann and Sasha Banks win.

    Orin:

    To be honest, this is my most anticipated match of the evening. Alicia Fox and Noam Dar are a charmingly kooky pairing and Sasha genuinely looks like she’s been having a great time doing little dances with Rich Swann. Alicia is wonderful no matter what she does and, in my opinion, Noam has done an excellent job playing the weasely little greaseball. He doesn’t get a ton of credit for it, but he’s really put 110% into this silly, never-ending storyline. He’s great with jokey facial expressions and seems naturally gifted at looking like a horned up rat. I love it.

    Interest Level: 9.5/10
    Prediction: Sasha and Swann take it.

    Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries in a Submission match for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

    Joey:

    I love King Neville but this feud has to end as soon as possible. They have done good work together long enough. There just comes a time where you have enough of it. I can see this match going either way but I badly hope Neville wins.

    Potential opponents for Neville if he wins: Kalisto, Cedric Alexander, Rich Swann, Mustafa Ali, Akira Tozawa

    Potential opponents for Aries if he wins: TJP, Gulak, Nese, Dar.

    Exactly. Go King!

    Interest Level: 6/10
    Prediction: Neville wins.

    Tim:

    WHY IS THIS STILL GOING ON? They’ve thrown in TJP for whatever reason and it just will not stop. I enjoy these two when they wrestle each other but I GET IT. PLEASE LET IT END.

    Interest Level: 4/10
    Prediction: Austin Aries wins.

    Tom:

    It doesn’t get more extreme than a submission match! Somewhat boring stip aside, Neville is still just about the best guy in WWE right now in a lot of ways but I’m ready for his feud with Aries to be over. I trust them to have a good match and do something interesting, but I just can’t get invested in a feud where Aries is meant to be the guy I care about.

    Interest Level: 6/10
    Prediction: Neville wins.

    Orin:

    Ehh. It’s a bummer to not be excited about a Neville match, but here we are. I don’t really care about this, although both him and AA are obviously more than capable of putting on a good one. Instead of this, they should just do a backstage segment with Neville tweeting out all caps insults about Aries’ plant-based diet book.

    Interest Level: 3/10
    Prediction: Aries wins. Continue reading

    WWE Payback 2017 Preview and Predictions

    Still not the Mel Gibson movie.

    Giving their thoughts and predictions on what to expect from the PPV are members of the site @JoeyOnEarth, @TimWelcomed and @TomBlargh.

    Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson on the kickoff show

    Joey:

    Please have someone throw Enzo Amore off the stage already. PLEASE!

    Interest Level: 3/10
    Prediction: Gallows and Anderson win.

    Tim:

    My interest in WWE is at the lowest point it’s been in years and Raw is the brand I am most disinterested in. I’m hoping things will straighten out on each brand after Payback but I have some worries. NXT has been surprisingly good the past three weeks. Oh, this match? I have nothing. No thanks.

    Interest Level: 0/10
    Prediction: Enzo and Cass win.

    Tom:

    I can’t think of anything to say about this. Nothing at all.

    Interest Level: 1/10
    Prediction: Okay.

    Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

    Joey:

    Neville and Austin Aries had a pretty good showcase in the windy WrestleMania pre-show match. I imagine this one will be better since the majority of fans will already be in their seats. Neville and Aries are really the only guys that have gotten over in the cruiserweight division. I’m expecting Aries to win here so they can continue the feud for another month.

    Interest Level: 8/10
    Prediction: Austin Aries wins.

    Tim:

    I am looking forward to this. Aries and Neville are a great match-up and the two biggest parts of the Cruiserweight division right now. I think they can pull off something better than the fun bout they had at Wrestlemania. I do hope Aries slips on his banana at some point but I have a feeling it won’t happen this time as he is fixing to be the champion.

    Interest Level: 5/10
    Prediction: Austin Aries wins.

    Tom:

    I disagree with Joey’s notion that Aries and Neville are the only two to have gotten over in the Cruiserweight Division; Neville has been amazing in his new role, but I feel like Aries is still kind of riding the hype over being a former indies star, as opposed to any of his WWE performances. Not that he’s been bad, I just don’t feel like interest levels or fan investment have increased for him. Also, I think Jack Gallagher has been a much bigger deal in terms of breaking out as someone people are interested in seeing (or at least him doing silly umbrella things), though he’s hamstrung by the division still feeling like a throwaway, time-filler thing.

    Anyway, match should be good but they should have high-powered fans pointed at the ring to make Neville’s hair flow beautifully like it did at ‘Mania.

    Interest Level: 6/10
    Prediction: Neville wins. Continue reading

    WWE Fastlane 2017 Preview and Predictions

    It’s a Fastlane, baby, drive me crazy.

    Giving their thoughts and predictions on what to expect from the PPV are members of the site @JoeyOnEarth, @TimWelcomed and @TomBlargh.

    Rich Swann & Akira Tozawa vs. The Brian Kendrick & Noam Dar on the kickoff

    Joey:

    I enjoy the cruiserweights but I don’t care about this match at all. Just give us an eight man flips match for the pre-show and call it a night.

    Interest Level: 3/10
    Prediction: Swann and Tozawa win. A lot of people tweet “ALICIA FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOX”

    Tim:

    I’m a big fan of three of these guys but I’m not expecting much from it since it’s a pre-show match. Akira Tozawa and his charisma have been a gift to the cruiserweight division. His storyline with Kendrick is the best thing in the division outside of Neville’s heel reign. Noam Dar is such a bore. I can’t believe he gets as much air time as he does. Swann still hasn’t found his spot but I’m hoping that changes one day soon. Anyway, this’ll be a nice little pre-show match.

    Interest Level: 4/10
    Prediction: Swann and Tozawa win.

    Tom:

    Tozawa has been so exciting in his limited time on WWE TV, to the point that I badly want him to shift out of the Cruiserweight division so he’s not just limited to wrestling the guys there. However, I can live with it for the time-being. I like all of the guys in this match to various degrees, so even though it’s a TV match, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Also, big laffs at TJP not even making kickoff shows now.

    Interest Level: 6/10
    Prediction: Tozawa and Swann win.

    Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

    Joey:

    No interest in this feud. I definitely think Nia Jax wins in dominant fashion to remain strong and set up Sasha Banks’ frustration and anger for something later in the show.

    Interest Level: 3/10
    Prediction: Nia Jax wins. Tom tweets he’s not like most girls.

    Tim:

    This is something I just haven’t been able to connect with. Nia Jax just isn’t that great in her role. Best case scenario for this match to be anything worth seeing is Jax dominating most of it and Banks selling over the top for her in crazy ways. I would think Jax gets the win here.

    Interest Level: 1/10
    Prediction: Nia Jax wins.

    Tom:

    Nah.

    Interest Level: 2/10
    Prediction: Nia Jax wins. Continue reading

    The Merch Table: WWE Slam Crate Special

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every so often, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: WWE SLAM CRATE SPECIAL

    Everybody loves a mystery, and while things like Loot Crate, the Funko Pop boxes and assorted other bi-monthly collections of random bullshit are a relatively new phenomenon, wrestling promotions have a proud history of taking advantage of their fans being idiot rubes – just consider TNA’s infamous Brown Bag Special, as previously covered here on The Merch Table.

    So, it was inevitable that WWE was going to get into this and they teamed up with LootCrate to do their own mystery box of nonsense called the WWE Slam Crate, which goes for about $30, plus another $5 for shipping. I am a professional merchologist, so I was delighted to sign up to see what kind of stuff they’d send. SPOILERS: I hated it!

    OKAY. So, as advertised, it comes in a crate. Kind of?

    It’s technically just a box, but whatever, they’re the same shape. It has that classic “black on black” style so it’s close to impossible to read the text.

    When you open it up though, you’ll see that there’s a surprising amount of crap in this thing!

    open-box

    WOW WHERE TO BEGIN. I guess with the bigger items? Let’s see how that goes. Continue reading

    WWE No Mercy 2016 Preview and Predictions

    Not the N64 game.

    Giving their thoughts and predictions on what to expect from the PPV are members of the site @JoeyOnEarth, @TimWelcomed and @TomBlargh.

    2016-10-06-11_58_26-wwe-no-mercy-2016-google-search

    Jack Swagger vs. Baron Corbin on the kickoff show

    Joey:

    Jack Swagger getting a push is the worst thing currently going on in WWE. Who in WWE likes this guy enough to keep him giving him opportunities? I will be skipping the kickoff show. Apologies to Big Breakfast.

    For all the talk of how good Smackdown has been at making new stars, they’ve fucked up big time with Corbin.

    Interest Level: 0/10
    Prediction: Baron Corbin wins.

    Tim:

    Baron Corbin has all of the potential to be a fun character so you would think Smackdown would be the place for him but here we are doing this. Hopefully he runs through Swagger and moves forward while Swagger disappears again. I will watch this in my wooden chair three feet away from my television with a glass of warm water as I am the last true wrestling critic and can not let myself be distracted during any grappling but I can’t say I am intrigued by this at all.

    Interest Level: 00/10
    Prediction: Baron Corbin wins. Big Breakfast Heads rejoice across the globe.

    Tom:

    Swagger even being on a pre-show match is genuinely kind of outrageous, isn’t it? Poor old Baron Corbin.

    Interest Level: 3/10
    Prediction: Breakfast wins the big one.

    Curt Hawkins vs. TBD

    Joey:

    I take it back. Curt Hawkins is the worst thing in WWE.

    I will change my mind and consider this genius if Hawkins becomes a jobber that spews his “facts” before taking a loss every match.

    Interest Level: 0/10
    Prediction: Curt Hawkins wins.

    Tim:

    I haven’t disliked anything quite as much as I’ve disliked Curt Hawkins and his hype videos. I’m not sure who thought any of it was a good idea but I’m here to inform them that it was not. In fact, they were bad. These are bold words but I will stand behind them forever. Let me say that Curt Hawkins just isn’t very good. I would not have wasted my time bringing him back but it’s WWE/s choice and I have to deal with it. Anyway, let’s watch him get squashed by someone like Kane immediately and get it over with already.

    Interest Level: 00000000000000000000000/10
    Prediction: TBD (TBD does not mean The Big Dog) wins.

    Tom:

    I assume he’s fighting Kane, right? And Kane chokeslams him off the stage and we all have a good laugh? A part of me wants to give Curt Hawkins a chance but a much larger part of me wants him to go away.

    Interest Level: 2/10
    Prediction: The Demon Kane wins the big one. Continue reading

    Wrestling On Earth’s ROH Coloring Book Competition: Round 4 – Dalton Castle

    If there’s three things the Wrestling On Earth crew loves, it’s wrestling, coloring and spirited competition, so LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

    Tim (@TimWelcomed), Joey (@JoeyOnEarth), Tom (@TomBlargh) and Shelly (@ShellyDeathlock) all chose a page from the ROH Coloring Book (created by the wonderful @punkrockbgmouth) to color, making for four pages in total. There was some arguing about what kind of tools and materials we were allowed to use, but in the end, we decided that everyone could choose between pencils or crayons (though Tom ended up being the only one to choose crayons and he’s pretty salty about it, but whatever).

    We featured a new page colored by each participant every day – this is the fourth and final day, so you can see the previous efforts here:

    LET’S GET COLORING (AND LOOK, YOU CAN ALSO VOTE ON WHO YOU THINK SHOULD BE THE WINNER AT THE END!)

    Round 4: Dalton Castle

    Continue reading

    Wrestling On Earth’s ROH Coloring Book Competition: Round 3 – The Briscoes

    If there’s three things the Wrestling On Earth crew loves, it’s wrestling, coloring and spirited competition, so LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

    Tim (@TimWelcomed), Joey (@JoeyOnEarth), Tom (@TomBlargh) and Shelly (@ShellyDeathlock) all chose a page from the ROH Coloring Book (created by the wonderful @punkrockbgmouth) to color, making for four pages in total. There was some arguing about what kind of tools and materials we were allowed to use, but in the end, we decided that everyone could choose between pencils or crayons (though Tom ended up being the only one to choose crayons and he’s pretty salty about it, but whatever).

    We’ll feature a new page colored by each participant every day, before allowing everyone to vote on the winner at the end. This is day three- you can see the previous efforts here:

    LET’S GET COLORING!

    Round 3: The Briscoes

    Continue reading

    Wrestling On Earth’s ROH Coloring Book Competition: Round 2 – The Young Bucks

    If there’s three things the Wrestling On Earth crew loves, it’s wrestling, coloring and spirited competition, so LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

    Tim (@TimWelcomed), Joey (@JoeyOnEarth), Tom (@TomBlargh) and Shelly (@ShellyDeathlock) all chose a page from the ROH Coloring Book (created by the wonderful @punkrockbgmouth) to color, making for four pages in total. There was some arguing about what kind of tools and materials we were allowed to use, but in the end, we decided that everyone could choose between pencils or crayons (though Tom ended up being the only one to choose crayons and he’s pretty salty about it, but whatever).

    We’ll feature a new page colored by each participant every day, before allowing everyone to vote on the winner at the end. This is day two – you can see the previous day’s efforts here. Never mind that though, LET’S GET COLORING!

    Round 2: The Young Bucks

    Continue reading

    Wrestling On Earth’s ROH Coloring Book Competition: Round 1 – Kevin Kelly and Steve Corino

    If there’s three things the Wrestling On Earth crew loves, it’s wrestling, coloring and spirited competition, so LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

    Tim (@TimWelcomed), Joey (@JoeyOnEarth), Tom (@TomBlargh) and Shelly (@ShellyDeathlock) all chose a page from the ROH Coloring Book (created by the wonderful @punkrockbgmouth) to color, making for four pages in total. There was some arguing about what kind of tools and materials we were allowed to use, but in the end, we decided that everyone could choose between pencils or crayons (though Tom ended up being the only one to choose crayons and he’s pretty salty about it, but whatever).

    We’ll feature a new page colored by each participant every day, before allowing everyone to vote on the winner at the end. That’s it! LET’S GET COLORING!

    Round 1: Kevin Kelly and Steve Corino

    Continue reading