• Author Archives: Tim B

    ScoopZone Elite: August 10, 2015

    We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

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    News for The Week of August 10, 2015

    WWE

    • Dolph Ziggler’s Twitter password was “standupcomedy.”

     

    • WWE is trying to figure out a way they can end Tough Enough with no one winning a contract.

     

    • With John Cena running out of shirt colors to use WWE will be holding a contest where fans invent colors. The best new color will be used on Cena merch for six months.

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    TNA

    • TNA has added Atlantis and Narnia to the schedule for their next UK tour.

     

    • Velvet Sky genuinely believes she is an actual lion at this point.

     

    • Mike Tenay is secretly running an illegal gambling pool on when TNA goes out of business.


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    Other

    • Jim Ross is sending stale BBQ sauce to NXT and ROH wrestlers in an attempt to ruin the events for fans not attending his one man show during Summerslam weekend.

     

    • The spiritual successor to season one of Lucha Underground will be called Underground Luchadores and will only be able to happen if they raise enough money on Kickstarter.

     

    • Lance Storm was responsible for all of the positive 9% reviews for Fantastic Four on Rotten Tomatoes.

     

    ScoopZone Elite: July 27, 2015

    We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

    [WELCOME ELITE MEMBERS. THANK YOU FOR THE SUBSCRIPTION!]

    News for the Week of July 27, 2015

    WWE

    • WWE is looking for a Danny DeVito impersonator for Triple H’s Wrestlemania 32 entrance which will be based off of the 1988 Arnold Schwarzenegger film Twins.

     

    • Dean Ambrose purchased a vending machine with his WWE Films paycheck so he can practice the art of kicking it until a soda can falls out.

     

    • With roster cuts seemingly taking place in the near-future, much of the lower-card talent have ditched their phones. Sting is making a lot of cash by letting them send messages via his bird.

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    TNA

    • TNA creative meetings have been taking place at an Applebee’s bar over the last two months.

     

    • Bully Ray walked out of TNA when they refused to agree to a contract clause of free FM radios and a Blockbuster membership card.

     

    • Josh Mathews wears bell-bottoms and chain wallets in his every day life.


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    Other

    • Sources say CHIKARA still runs shows despite being less present than when they pretended to go out of business.

     

    • Matt Striker has been banned from Reddit for being “too unlikable.”

     

    • Lance Storm thinks Adam Sandler is misunderstood.

     

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Hear ye, hear ye! We shall now declare The Sexy Wrestler of The Week.

    The billions of votes that came in this week were quite overwhelming but, being the professional I am, I got the big job done and here we are again. Let’s get down to business.

    sexy-wrestler-mvp

    There you have it. For the first time ever MVP is The Sexy Wrestler of The Week! Today is his special day and I know he is proud. With his recent departure from TNA I was left reminiscing on his career and then I found myself thinking “what if?” What if MVP was still with WWE right now? What if he never left? What would he be doing? I bet he would be pulling some dank pranks on the hit WWE Network show, SWERVED.

    image

    It would be full of that many more laughs. Here’s to hoping MVP will one day make his way back to WWE and be able to participate on Swerved. I think it would benefit us all.

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Pump your iron and take your wheat, it’s time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

    Oh, can you give me a hell yeah? That’s a little phrase I stole from “Stone Cold” Steve Austin because it is how I feel. I want you all to say “oh, hell yeah” right now while looking at your screen. IT’S SO LIBERATING. Us wrestling fans don’t give a damn what people think we just want to be live our lives. What better way to live your life than by voting for the sexiest wrestler of the week every week? Well, obviously not much because you all live this way. Let’s see who you voted for this time.

    AdamColeSWOTW3K

    The very man on which Sexy Wrestler of The Week was founded has climbed back into all of your hearts this week. Adam Cole is The Sexy Wrestler of The Week. I created this picture to illustrate that I think Adam Cole could be a magical space-being who is fully capable of spreading love over the planet by blowing intergalactic kisses. It may be a little deep and layered but I was full of tears and power as I created this masterpiece.

    ScoopZone Elite: July 6, 2015

    We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

    [WELCOME ELITE MEMBERS. THANK YOU FOR THE SUBSCRIPTION!]

    News for The Week of June 29, 2015

    WWE

    • Kane accidentally uploaded confused-looking selfies to his favorite political forum because he doesn’t know how to use his iWatch properly.

     

    • Sheamus keeps hair gel and beard beads in his Money in the Bank briefcase at all times.

     

    • Michael Cole took screenshots of all the tweets praising his work from the Beast In The East show and  secretly stares at them with a tear in his eye.

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    TNA

    • TNA pitched the idea of having Al Snow, Bob Ryder and John Gaburick invade ROH but was turned down.

     

    • Tyrus keeps asking TNA to have Ethan Carter give him a vacation to Hawaii.

     

    • Josh Mathews frequently calls Maven and Chris Nowinski with reminders that he makes more money than them.

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    Other

    • Steve Austin is vowing to “Stone Cold Stun” all bad wrestling podcasts off the air.

     

    • Global Force Wrestling will be running a show at Big Carl’s Country Jamboree.

     

    • Lance Storm shoots fireworks on July 5th.

     

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    It’s time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week! Can you handle it?

    Well, well, well. Look what the cat carried in with his little mouth. You’re here to swoon at the newest sexy wrestler of the week. Aren’t we all? You probably thought I would do the vote counting for you. You probably thought that was MY job. Hey, I’ve got news for you. I did and it is my job. I get paid a very small amount but I’m filled with the riches of giving out a very illustrious award every damn week. Tell me that’s not fucking worth my time and see if I let you get away with it. Didn’t think so…

    This week we examine the newly awarded gorgeous grappler in their favorite weekend costume. Word is they love to hit the roller rink in style.

    ReignsMinion

    The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is Roman Reigns. He may be an unbelievable machine in the ring but when it comes to dressing up in a minion costume this guy is as natural as they come. I can’t help but notice it makes him look a little shorter than usual but he wears it well.

    I really need you to send in your votes for next week. I’ve noticed that more votes are coming in than usual and I want that to grow even more. Thank you for your dedication and love. Keep up the good work. Cheers.

    Scoopzone Elite: June 29, 2015

    We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

    [WELCOME ELITE MEMBERS. THANK YOU FOR THE SUBSCRIPTION!]

    News for The Week of June 29, 2015

    WWE

    • Baron Corbin has a massive candle collection.

     

    • Dean Ambrose is planning on stealing the belt from Kane‘s pants every week to keep up with his character’s motivation.

     

    • Chris Jericho is pitching a program with Finn Bálor where he is branded the new Kiss Demon.

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    TNA

    • Dixie Carter is demanding all Twitter haters come to Universal Studios and say it to Ron and Don Harris‘ faces.

     

    • Eric Young is GFW’s mole inside TNA and is trying to hide it by being extremely defensive of TNA.

     

    • Jeff Jarrett is trying to convince Dixie Carter to start the GFW vs. TNA invasion by letting Scott Steiner on air with a live mic.

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    Other

    • PWS is starting a fan funding page to sign Dolph Ziggler.

     

    • D-Von Dudley has been trying to get Jeff Jarrett to sign his sons to GFW.

     

    • Lance Storm always loved Marty Jannetty and Jim Neidhart more than Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart.

     

    ScoopZone Elite: June 15, 2015

    We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

    [WELCOME ELITE MEMBERS. THANK YOU FOR THE SUBSCRIPTION!]

    News for The Week of June 15, 2015

    WWE

    • Zack Ryder is thinking about going back to the one-legged tights to stand out since he is getting more work lately.

     

    • WWE is trying to convince Michael Bay to let Sheamus carry around his MITB briefcase when filming scenes in the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

     

    • Dean Ambrose spent the day knocking food off of tables at the local mall’s food court.

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    TNA

    • Billy Corgan pitched the idea of painting the X Division title green to symbolize the financial greed in the “dirt sheet” industry and the danger of star ratings.

     

    • Dixie Carter is ready to debut her final plan to make TNA more money: A brand new collector’s edition Dixie Carter doll.

     

    • Mike Tenay shows up to TNA offices every day and just loiters around asking about Don West.

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    Other

    • Taz‘s original name for his Tazmission submission move was “The Razmataz.”

     

    • Sting was seen practicing his Scorpion Death Drop on a huge stuffed bear that was dressed as a biker.

     

    • Lance Storm sells Aldo Montoya masks at local shows.

     

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Let’s drink an Old Fashioned and name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

    Okay, people. It is that time again. The votes have been counted and the winner has been chosen. Like any dignified journalist I strive to have new information to give you every week and have it be interesting. Yeah, naming The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is big enough to stand on its own. After all, it is the biggest award in professional wrestling today. This week is no different. As soon as I found out who the winner was I began digging up dirt and contacting my sources from various industries. What I have found this week will have you saying “WOWZERS!”

    MadMenKane

    First off: BOOM! There it is. The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is none other than “The Devils Favorite Businessman,” Kane. He’s (somehow) no stranger to this prestigious award so I had to dig harder to find out some never-before-known info and I found quite the hidden gem.

    Kane was originally supposed to play a supporting character in the fourth season of the now completed TV show Mad Men. His character (Hank Hinkle) was abruptly edited out in post-production from the first three episodes and was told to never return as it “just wasn’t working out.” When asked about this, Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner said “he was just really boring. Our writing couldn’t even begin to save him plus his stature and sex appeal really took away from Don Draper.” Kane has kept this failure very close to the chest but today we celebrate him.

    ScoopZone Elite: June 8, 2015

    We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

    [WELCOME ELITE MEMBERS. THANK YOU FOR THE SUBSCRIPTION!]

    News for The Week of June 8, 2015

    WWE

    • Vince McMahon kept calling the cast of Entourage “The Backstreet Boys” but no one would correct him.

     

    • Triple H has been hard at work putting together a photo album full of his best sefies.

     

    • WWE is looking to make NXT more Wonderful, Wacky and Noble in the near future.

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    TNA

    • Austin Aries was close to agreeing to a new deal with NXT but became disgruntled before he signed the contract. Aries now plans to re-sign with TNA in July and become disgruntled in August.

     

    • Velvet Sky will be debuting her new catchphrase “Gimme a heck yeah” on the next episode of Impact.

     

    • Billy Corgan recently worked a deal that allows TNA to use the Hole song “Doll Parts” for Taryn Terrell. In related news, Courtney Love is now the highest paid female talent in TNA.

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    Other

    • Garett Bischoff stated he missed yesterday’s “Legends of Wrestling” show due to a “tummy-ache” and it has absolutely nothing to do with being terrified of Scott Steiner.

     

    • Hulk Hogan claims he was in line to take over for David Letterman at one point.