• Monthly Archives: April 2015

    ScoopZone Elite: April 13, 2015

    We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

    [WELCOME ELITE MEMBERS. THANK YOU FOR THE SUBSCRIPTION!]

    News for The Week of April 13, 2015

    WWE

    • Vince McMahon wanted Neville to wrestle with his cape on but eventually backed away as many voiced their safety concerns.

     

    • Daniel Bryan is being phased off of RAW in hopes fans will forget about him by the 2016 Royal Rumble when someone they don’t like is booked to win.

     

    • John Cena will be debuting a new US Championship belt soon though it will not be a spinner belt as previously rumored. It is instead shaped like his face with a button that when pressed will play a random recording of him complimenting various states.

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    Special Scoops by JetsFan4Ever

    • Triple H just saw that really good match featuring that recent signee from outside the company and he really liked what he saw.  Expect that talent to go to the main roster next week, or maybe in a few months, or maybe after WrestleMania next year.

     

    • Kevin Dunn hates Finn Bálor‘s body paint. He says it is too messy. I can’t stand that guy.

     

    • The Main Event locker room held a meeting where leaders such as Jack Swagger urged everyone to step their game up so Main Event can finally compete with Superstars.


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    Other

    • Jay Briscoe is staying in ROH over NXT where he will reportedly make more money and be able to wear Confederate flag clothing.

     

    • TNA says they haven’t been able to pay some of their wrestlers because the people in charge of that are in the process of relocating and also because they aren’t doing well with money.

     

    • Lance Storm sells worn Dawn Marie and Major Gunns gear on Ebay without their consent.

     

    All Aboard the S.S. Strong Style: Japanese 101 for プロレス Nerds, Part 3

    Shelly Deathlock cares too much about Japanese wrestling and, as Captain of the S.S. Strong Style, she’s here to welcome you on board and fill you in on what’s going on in the world of puro. Today, she’s introducing you to the Japanese language, which she is not good at at all, but that makes her the perfect person to explain some things to you, since she has no discernible trappings of ego.

     

    • Part 1 is here, where we learned about katakana, hiragana, kanji, and why we need all of them and just what exactly is going on here.
    • Part 2 is here, where we learned about ring names, catch phrases, and fun things.
    • This week in part 3, we’re covering vocabulary, grammar, and some more fun things! Ahoy!

    A couple of frequently asked questions about Japanese:

    Why is that commentator shouting “hai!” all the time? What is going on?!

    Oh man, it’s called aizuchi and it’s how you politely listen in Japanese! By talking the whole time so your conversational partner knows you’re listening! I think it’s very strange! Fluentu has a good article on aizuchi.

    Here is a father teaching his adorable child how to aizuchi, you’re welcome:

    There are lots of general words you can use to show you’re paying attention — the commentators like “hai” (はい, “yes”), and Okada will そうですね (sou desu ne, “I see”) his way through an interview so hard you’ll wish he’d adopt a new phrase, any phrase, Okada honey please.

    BONUS: here’s a cute gif of Shinsuke Nakamura sou desu ne-ing with his eyes shut.

    soudesune

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    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    It is time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

    A week ago I noticed a suspicious folder that was put on my desk at Wrestling On Earth HQ. I’ve been locked out of there for about six months now and only got back in last week when I found my key in an empty bag of Funyuns by my inflatable pool, so no telling how long it has been sitting there.

    I opened up the folder to find a picture. It was a very peculiar photograph to be exact. My first thought was that my ex-roommate was trying to play a prank on me. He is still very angry at me for kicking him out of the house. As I thought about it a while longer I came to the realization that he could not have possibly done this as his Photoshop skills are that of a seal covered in baby oil. Slippery, comical, and nonexistent.

    I realized I needed some fresh air so I grabbed all of the Sexy Wrestler of The Week votes that were left to count and hopped on a plane to my home away from home, Mount Rushmore. I did what I always do when I need some time to clear my head. I set up a tent, tallied some of your votes, and let the stone-faced spirits of the United States flow upon me.

    The iconic Mount Rushmore featuring George Bush, Robert Plant, Sam Elliot, and Abraham Lincoln

    The iconic Mount Rushmore featuring George Bush, Robert Plant, Sam Elliot, and Abe Lincoln

    My third eye was awoken with a sharp blast of red, white, and blue. My chakras were connected by the very fabric that Betsy Ross and her powerful hands forged together in a woven fervor to create the national flag. I was The Eagle. I was Plymouth Rock. I was not taxating without representating (yeah, that’s right) and at this moment I knew who I was and what I should do. I needed to go home and party with my friends and loved ones.

    Betsy Ross and her two clones creating "Old Glory"

    Ross and her two clones creating “Old Glory”

    On the plane ride back I finished tallying your votes and when I saw who the winner was this week my mind was blown. It was the wrestler who was in the photo on my desk. Was this a sign? It is Spring so I’m always a little bit too connected with nature for my own good around this time of year. I decided I wouldn’t over-think it. I finally arrived at my house. I then hooked up all of my black lights and started burning my favorite dance playlist “Moby I Did, Moby I Didn’t” on to discs. This was going to be quite the party. No one showed up. A lot of my friends had hair appointments and my sister said some family was in town that she had to visit with so I understood. They would’ve all been there if they could.

    Thi is Moby

    Moby

    I was a little let down until I decided to look at that picture again. Then it happened. The black lights brought something significant to the surface. A phone number had appeared on the picture. This really was fate. I never should have doubted myself in the oneness of Spring. I called the number and it was answered by popular stump photographer, Leo Mimps. He said he would do an interview with me for a price. Needless to say, here we are. Before I reveal the interview I will reveal that The Sexy Wrestler of The Week is none other than Bray Wyatt. Here is THE photograph.

    SWOTWWyattMcMuffin

    Me: What do we have here?

    Mimps: Some glorious stumps, my friend. Exquisitely crafted by years of the harsh environment.

    Me: Ah, yes. But why did you think the tremendous readers of Wrestling On Earth would find this particular photo intriguing?

    Mimps: Harumph, well… if you look closely behind the two magnificent stumps and the dominating alpha tree you will see something peculiar, my dear boy. It may be a bit blurry as it wasn’t the focal point for this work of art but I strongly believe that is none other than Bray Wyatt sleeping in a giant sausage, egg, and cheese McMuffi-

    Me: Be more generic. Our marketing deal went awry awhile back.

    Mimps: Oh, right. Well, it’s Bray Wyatt sleeping in a giant breakfast sandwich from a popular fast food chain.

    Me: It seems to be rotted. I question this as it is known he eats worlds. If he eats worlds and sleeps on food, do you think he may be very confused about how things work?

    Mimps: Look, I don’t know.

    Me: Well, thanks for joining us.

    Mimps: Stay stumping, my good man. I’d also like to take this time to tell your readers about the dangers of dealing with doctors.

    Me: I’m sorry. We are out of time.

    Mimps: I say, boy. Fuck this nonsense.

    So there you have it. He may be an interesting character in the ring but Bray Wyatt is just as wild outside and I bet he smells! That is super sexy in the world of wrestling. I would like to thank Leo Mimps for his contribution although I feel like, for the sake of transparency, I should tell you he seemed like a really bad person and even threw a lit cigarette into the office trash can, causing a lot of damage. He also sucks at photography. Who only photographs stumps? Don’t forget to cast your votes for next week! Bye!

    This Or That (4/8/2015)

    Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

    Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlargh will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

    Before we start, here’s last week‘s results:

    Will Seth Rollins still be WWE champion in September?

    No – 76%, Yes – 24%

    Cooler Wrestlemania entrance?

    Rusev – 91%, Triple H – 9%

    Who will be more successful on the main roster?

    Kalisto – 70%, Neville – 30%

    Better potato chip style?

    Ripple-cut – 67%, Traditional – 33%

    Which midcard title reign are you more excited to see play out: John Cena’s or Daniel Bryan’s?

    Optimism?

    cena-bryan

    Tim:

    I really like Cena’s open challenge matches for the title. It has really elevated that belt a good bit already. I’m worried about Bryan and the Intercontinental Championship. It wasn’t even on Raw this past week and I’m really hoping they don’t make this a Smackdown thing. The match between him and Barrett was just kind of announced and they moved on. I’m really curious to see if they turn this around so I’m looking forward to seeing how that goes more than Cena’s US run. They’re both exciting in their own ways though.

    Daniel Bryan’s

    Joey:

    John Cena’s Open Challenge is already the best thing in WWE and the United States title is relevant just like that. Daniel Bryan wasn’t even on RAW and his short title reign has been used to put over Sheamus being back with a bad haircut. Basically, Cena has already rescued the US Championship and Bryan is already facing some “same old” hurdles with the IC Championship. That makes me believe the plan is for Cena to have a very long reign while Bryan’s may be more a traditional weird Intercontinental title run except with better matches.

    John Cena’s

    Tom:

    Watching Cena wrestle competitive matches with midcard dudes is a REALLY strange deal but not in a bad way. I don’t expect it to last longer than a few months but it should be an interesting time and hopefully continue to result in some fun, weird matches. Sadly for Bryan, the midcard scene is one he’s always had one foot in, so seeing him immersed in that world doesn’t feel as exciting. I’m sure his matches will be terrific but there isn’t the same novelty.

    John Cena’s

    Which mid-card title reign are you more excited to see play out?

    • John Cena's (66%, 47 Votes)
    • Daniel Bryan's (34%, 24 Votes)

    Total Voters: 71

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    The Merch Table: Suplex City, Bitch

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every so often, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: SUPLEX CITY, BITCH.

    RedBubble has 60 different “Suplex City, Bitch” t-shirts. Yes, really. I’m now going to look at every single one of the bastards because fuck you and fuck me. LET’S GET STARTED.

    1

    Okay, Brock’s mad old face in the background, great. Cool. Lovely stuff.

    2

    The text underneath says “break necks, kill egos”. I don’t know why.

    3

    He is quite literally performing a suplex onto a city there! How about that?!?

    4

    The exclamation mark really drives it home.

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    Dirt Sheet History: November 2008

    Take a trip back to a memorable timeline in sports entertainment with the most important stories reported as fact in the journalistic world of pro wrestling dirt sheets.

    Following the timeline of the last Dirt Sheet History looking back at October 2008, we get a glimpse into the top scoops from November of 2008 as we read Dirt Sheet History.

    Reminder that you can find all past editions of Dirt Sheet History looking at 2004 through 2007 right here. Now enjoy November 2008.

    November

    11/1/2008

    * Ric Flair addressed rumors of a possible retirement match in Japan for the annual January Tokyo Dome show. He said there is no truth to the stories. “Absolutely not,” Flair said on whether he’s considering a match in Japan. “That’s just propaganda.” Flair said he wouldn’t want tarnish his retirement match with Shawn Michaels at this year’s WrestleMania.

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    ScoopZone Elite: April 6, 2015

    We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.

    [WELCOME ELITE MEMBERS. THANK YOU FOR THE SUBSCRIPTION!]

    News for The Week of April 6, 2015

    WWE

    • While it looks like Kane wrestles in dress pants, we can confirm they are pants made from stretchy-but-stylish space-age polymers invented by the Hell division of NASA specifically for The Devil’s Favorite Demon.

     

    • Dean Ambrose recently stated Alex Riley‘s tweets are popular at most of the house shows. (Because the boys read them in the locker room for laughs.)

     

    • Randy Orton feels like adding elbow pads didn’t freshen up his character as much as he wanted. He is now looking to add leather tassels or studded suspenders to his ring attire.

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    Wrestling Podcasts

    • Chris Jericho is preparing hard hitting questions for his live interview with John Cena on the WWE Network tonight such as “Why are you so great?”, “Is Vince McMahon handsome or what?”, and “Metallica, am I right?”

     

    • There weren’t enough attention-seeking racist, sexist and homophobic voices in the wrestling community so Chael Sonnen has decided to start breaking down pro wrestling on his podcast.

     

    • Taz has been working tirelessly to get Kel Mitchell on his podcast to question him on his love for orange soda because he believes there is no way anyone loves anything orange more than himself.


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    Other

    • Michael Elgin has been studying tape of Maria Kanellis and Amber O’Neal in hopes of finding a new route into NJPW.

     

    • Knowing things can’t go smoothly forever, Lucha Underground are keeping their secret weapon, Jack Evans off of TV until the promotion needs a boost.

     

    • After the NWO vs. DX showdown at Wrestlemania, Lance Storm is pitching for a Misfits In Action vs. Team Canada moment at Summerslam.

     

    Around The Wrestling World In 7 Days: April 5, 2015

    Every weekend, Joey will give a glimpse of the things that have entered his mind.

    Hi. I have a lot of thoughts about wrestling. I decided to start a concept where I talk about what’s on my mind every weekend. I hope it’s enjoyable.

    Follow me on Twitter and let me know if you want me to hit on any wrestling topics next week: @JoeySplashwater

    WWE Universe

    rollins

    Wrestlemania

    Wow was I wrong about Wrestlemania 31. I had very low expectations for the show but it completely over-delivered. The entire show entertained me from top to bottom with every match having something that entertained me to some extent. If I were to rank the show after watching it just twice, I’d say it’s only behind 17, 19, 30 and maybe 24 among the best overall Wrestlemania shows of all time.

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    Art Is Wrestling: Danny Kelly

    Not to be mistaken for the similarly titled (and now defunct) Mike Quackenbush promotion or the Colt Cabana podcast, Art is Wrestling trawls the Internet to showcase some of the best wrestling art we can find.

    Up this time, Danny Kelly! You can follow Danny on Twitter or on Facebook. Here are some of our favorites of his so far (and they’re not all wrestling – make sure you scroll all the way down to see his amazing homages to Seinfeld and The Golden Girls):

    NXT Superstars

    NXT

    Macho Man, Hulk Hogan and Miss Elizabeth

    MachoHulk

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    Top 10 Tweets of March 2015

    Each month, I’ll pick out my personal favorite tweets and share it with you fine folks. Keep in mind this is 100% subjective and only features tweets on my timeline.

    All past posts are here.

    10. Kevin Owens on Alex Riley’s “memorable” moments

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