• Monthly Archives: October 2013

    Match of the Week: Chamber of Horrors Match (WCW Halloween Havoc 1991)

    Many sites have a match of the week but ours is a little different. These matches are the ones that are fun to watch… in the non-traditional way.

    This week, in the spirit of Halloween, we’ve chosen the Chamber of Horrors match from WCW Halloween Havoc ’91, which is spectacular in that it has just about every single bad idea you could think of thrown into one match. Members of the site @TimWelcomed, @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett give their (lack of) expertise on the action.

    Part 1: Eric Bischoff is not a good interviewer.

    abby-cactus-eric

    Tim:

    Eric Bischoff is in a suit standing… outside of the arena, I guess? Cars are pulling up but there’s also a lot of grass behind him. Something feels out of place. Bischoff tries getting interviews but these guys are just too busy for him. Especially Barry Windham who is getting his hand slammed in the door like a chump.

    typicalROHfan:

    Eric Bischoff just seems like a douchebag. It’s amazing how one person can maintain the high level of douche chills over a span of 22 years but EB does it.

    Highlight of this for me is Larry Zbyszko and Arn Anderson smashing Barry Windham‘s hand with the car door. Zbyszko telling Bischoff to “get out the way, you jerk” was a glorious moment that made me just feel in my bones that we would see these two co-main event Starrcade 7 years later.

    Tom:

    First of all, WWE not adopting Halloween Havoc as one of their annual PPVs is CRAZY. It’s a really fun name, the theme is ridiculously easy to do cool sets and posters and stuff with and, really, wrestling and Halloween are just made for each other. Both celebrate people dressing up like idiots and running around doing dumb stuff, so why keep them apart? It’s a natural fit!

    Having said that though, the Chamber of Horrors might not be the best example of ‘doing it right’. In the opening interviews, Eric Bischoff is DREADFUL. He looks good in a tux, but beyond that, he delivers everything in the same hokey tone and doesn’t seem to be able to react to anything naturally. DDP is in full Andrew Dice-Clay mode, asking Bisch “What are you, parking cars now? SEEYA!” We love Andrew Diamond-Dallas-Clay.

    Onto the entrances, and there are two teams (catchily named ‘team number one’ and ‘team number two’), who all come out to the same generic theme. Cactus Jack has a chainsaw. Abdullah the Butcher is carrying… something else, I’m not sure what. Finally, Sting gets to come out to his own theme, and everyone goes NUTS. Without any explanation of how it works, the match begins! Continue reading

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Hold on to your hardhats. It’s time to name The Sexy Wrestler of The Week!

    Something happened yesterday. I went to post this and it was unavailable. Finally, today everything was back to normal and I could post this for you all. I looked it over a lot and don’t see anything wrong with it but I think I was hacked. If you see anything weird, please let me know. Sorry for it being a day late!

    Let’s not wait any longer…

    Adam Cole SWOTW Again

    Ah yes. Your Sexy Wrestler of The Week is Adam Cole and everything suddenly feels right. The world is at peace. Food rains from the sky to feed nations. Seagulls are delivering babies so pelicans can have a day off. Con artists are telling the truth. George Bush has grown a Yosemite Sam-esque moustache. Thank you for bringing world peace with your bodacious good looks, Adam Cole.

    The Merch Table: Halloween Special (Part 2)

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: HALLOWEEN SPECIAL (PART 2).

    If you haven’t read last week’s Halloween Special, then you should probably get yourself up to date. Done that? Cool. Now bring on the terrible wrestling masks and costumes! LET’S GET STARTED.

    Bret Hart mask

    bret

    Here we have Bret Hart in mask form, looking more like a “40-year-old mother of three who had a really rough night” than Adam Cole ever could (and if you’re not familiar with that reference, here’s the appropriate scene from Kevin Steen’s Weekend Escapades to help fill you in):

    Anyway, yet another example of how the wrestling business screwed Bret. I’m surprised we didn’t see three chapters in his book dedicated to the ‘Halloween Mask Screwjob’.

    Kurt Angle TNA costume

    kurt-angle

    That’s a disturbingly accurate depiction of Kurt Angle’s face (i.e. INTENSELY CRAZY), but what’s up with that pose? Is that meant to be… like… an amateur wrestling stance? Is amateur wrestling all about standing with your legs really wide apart? Please reply ASAP, amateur wrestling fans (har har, just kidding, there’s no such thing as an amateur wrestling fan). Continue reading

    WCW Comic Book Reading Club: Issue Two, Page 15

    WCW: The Comic Book was published in the early 90s by Marvel Comics. Nobody in wrestling or comics paid it much attention, and after 12 issues, it was cancelled and lost to the ages. Until now.

    On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, @tomblackett will post a new page of the WCW comic with his comments and we’ll read through it together. We’ll be there for each other, through the good (Vader! The Steiners! Sting! Cactus Jack!) and the (Johnny B.) Badd.

    WCW: The Comic (Issue Two, Page 15)

    wcw2-15

    WCW: The Comic is probably the property of Marvel Comics / WWE, though I’m not entirely sure. This website makes no claims to own it; all panels and images are posted in the spirit of fair use and are the property of their respective owners and creators. Continue reading

    NBA Teams As WWE Wrestlers: Western Conference Preview

    My first two loves in childhood were basketball and wrestling. While my interest in both have fluctuated over the years, both play a large role in my life these days. It’s quite frankly the only reason I still own a television.

    Happy NBA opening night!!!

    These are indeed my rankings of how the NBA teams will finish in the standings with a wrestling twist as many of us center in the venn diagram of hoops and pro wrestling love. You can check out last week’s Eastern Conference edition here.

    1. San Antonio Spurs are The Undertaker

    Old and awesome. That’s the motto they follow. I would say the NBA equivalent of the Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak is the Spurs current streak of winning 50+ games for the past 14 seasons. You see the critics doubt them every year.

    In Undertaker’s case, it’s shots at his age, weight, in ring shape and questioning his ability but he has by far the best match on every Wrestlemania. Age is always the doubt with the Spurs but Tim Duncan having an Undertaker WM performance all season last year showed just how great he still is. San Antonio will put most of their West counterparts in a casket this year.

    The Spurs also have used Undertaker’s theme song for the introductions of their opponents with the emphasis that they are dead men walking.

    2. Oklahoma City Thunder are Randy Orton

    durant

    I’m a huge Kevin Durant fan so it pains me to say this. The Thunder’s rise to the top tier of the NBA was similar to Randy Orton’s ascension to being the youngest World Champ in WWE history. Everyone loved them because they showed potential with a ceiling we very rarely see in their respective fields.

    The plight of Randy Orton started after everyone began to view him with a higher expectation he was never able to truly fulfill. Soon after he started to face injuries (Russell Westbrook), attitude problems (Russell Westbrook) and just flat out not being better than the counterpart face of the brand.

    Last week, we touched on the Cena to LeBron comparison and it’s true here again. Orton had no chance at surpassing Cena and it’s looking like a very difficult task for Kevin Durant to get his ring in the near future with LeBron dominating the league. I have hope for him and expect him to eventually win it all but in the short term, he’s the Orton to Cena’s LBJ.

    Continue reading

    Seven Things: 7 Wrestlers Better In Video Games Than Real Life

    Welcome to Seven Things, a weekly list that consists of very eclectic topics.

    This week we are doing things a little differently to celebrate the release of WWE 2K14. Instead of one person writing the list, each wrestler will be chosen by a site member or friend of the site.

    With the world of video games expanding beyond belief as each year progresses, we’ve reached a point where many wrestlers are just more entertaining in video game form than they are on television. We try to pinpoint the best seven.

    Before we hit the list, we have info on a free giveaway!

    Want a free copy of WWE 2K14?

    This contest is via our pals at PWIR. They are Iron Sheik approved:

    ironshiek

    Win a free copy of WWE 2K14 for the platform of your choice by checking out PWIR’s contest. You have until 9PM EST on 30 October, 2013 to enter. The contest will be held in the shoutbox at the top of the forum so make sure you sign up and post in that thread.

    Now for the list, here are the 7 Wrestlers Better In Video Games Than Real Life.

    Doink

    Selected by the regular Seven Things writer @typicalROHfan.

    doink

    My favorite wrestling video game is easily WWF Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game and my favorite character was Doink. The roster for this game released in the mid-90’s were future Hall of Famers such as Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, Bret Hart, Razor Ramon, Yokozuna, Bam Bam Bigelow, Lex Luger and then…….. Doink. Clearly overachieving with a gimmick cute for video games, Doink was the dude to play as.

    The main sell is Doink’s powerful skill of clown tricks such as shocking his opponents with a joy buzzer or use inflated novelty hands to smack the competition. I’ll take those gimmicks over today’s improved graphics and over the top technology all day. Imagine if Doink were able to use those weapons on the show? Instant WWF champion material.

    Please take time out of your day to watch this AMAZING video of Doink’s greatness. Thanks and good luck. Continue reading

    ScoopZone Elite: October 28, 2013

    We’ve consulted our inside sources to bring you the best and most EXCLUSIVE dirt on your favorite wrestling promotions from around the world. Unlike other sites, we’ll only bring you 100% accurate and truthful wrestling news every week. We’re still working on our paywall, so please only read these stories if you’re an elite member.


    [WELCOME ELITE MEMBERS. THANK YOU FOR THE SUBSCRIPTION!]

    News for the Week of October 28, 2013

    WWE

    • Ryback is in the doghouse with WWE officials for regressing in the ring and having a poor attitude. When asked about this Ryback said “I don’t have a poor attitude, idiot!”

     

    • R-Truth wearing the same suit on the Hell In A Cell promotional poster and on the show is not a coincidence. It’s literally the only suit he owns.

     

    • Curtis Axel is not really injured. The real story is WWE just forgot to book a flight for him because they forgot he is on the roster.

     

    • Despite his promises to ‘break’ and ‘rip off’ Paul Heyman’s face, the repeated kendo stick shots CM Punk delivered to his former manager resulted in little more than light bruising to Heyman’s back and ribs. Many are now questioning the Straight Edge Superstar’s understanding of basic human anatomy.

    -Advertisement-

     

    [Advertisement paid for by Triple H]

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     TNA

    • Eric Bischoff has been told to “work from home” for the remainder of his TNA contract. They forgot to tell Jason Hervey to follow him and now he just roams the halls backstage like a lost child while muttering “I get by with a little help from my friends.”

     

    • In response to the uncertainty of TNA’s future, Gunner has recently sent his ‘Best Of’ highlight reel to all wrestling promotions with the only one responding being $5 Wrestling.

     

    • With the aforementioned TNA death rumors, Hulk Hogan is looking to appeal to the snarky, ironic culture of America with a new line of t-shirts. The front will be R.I.P TNA/WCW tributes with the back saying “Did I do that? LOL!”

     

    • The Ethan Carter III debut has been very successful in helping business. The business of unknown independent wrestlers being able to tell their friends they trended on Twitter, that is.

     

    • Reports are saying that Kurt Angle is deeply regretting not accepting his induction into the TNA Hall of Fame, as he could really use a new watch. He dropped his last one down a well and now he’s missing all his appointments.

    -Sponsored Stories-

    Expert Gives TNA Advice On How To Save The Company! Click Here!

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    Other

    • Jay Briscoe debuted his own ROH World Championship belt this past weekend. It has everything you’d expect including The Confederate Flag, a skull, and camouflage. We can confirm that the original design had bullets and a Bible in it but they were withheld due to limited space.

     

    • DGUSA’s Gabe Sapolsky has been recently found “trolling” TNA Wrestling’s twitter account and a few wrestling fans. An inside source told us Gabe sits cross legged and plays “Cult of Personality” when typing these tweets.

     

     

    • When asked about Wrestling On Earth, Lance Storm coldly stated his favorite planets were Neptune, Jupiter and the controversial Pluto.

    Over/Under: 10/28/2013

    Is it possible to predict the future of the wrestling world? Given that ‘plans change’ might as well be the official motto of the WWE, this might be easier said than done, but in Over/Under, we’re still gonna try!

    Each week, we’ll choose five scenarios and then predict how likely they are to come true, by saying whether it’s ‘over’ (i.e. we think it’s over the odds that it’ll happen) or ‘under’ (i.e. we think it’s under the odds). As usual, members of the site @TimWelcomed@typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett are on hand to embarrass themselves by being the ones to make the predictions.

    Summerslam 2014: The date that at least one member of The Shield will split off from the group.

    The Shield are nearing the one year anniversary of their debut. One of the strongest WWE factions ever, when exactly will they split up?

    shield

    Tim:

    Seth Rollins will be the first out of The Shield. I’m kind of ready to see him or Ambrose break off and do their own things but also kind of sad about it because Rollins and Reigns are much needed in the tag team division. I can see this happening real soon. Maybe even in time for Wrestlemania.

    UNDER.

    typicalROHfan:

    The Shield breakup is coming sooner rather than later in my guesstimation. I think around the Royal Rumble, Seth Rollins will leave or get kicked out. Everyone can tell he’s a much better babyface and a match with him as face vs. heel Ambrose is something I’d LOVE to see at Wrestlemania 30. Either way, I see Rollins being the person to be split off and I see it happening well before Summerslam.

    UNDER.

    Tom:

    I’m going to say no – it’s inevitable, but Summerslam just feels a little too soon. With three ‘core’ teams in The Shield, The Usos and The Rhodeseseses, the tag division seems to finally have settled into a nice groove, and the only team I see splitting within the next few months is Cody and Goldust.  I’m assuming Rollins is the one who’ll receive the eventual face turn, but I don’t know what he’ll be once they take him out of the tactical gear – he’s so good that I’m sure he’ll be fine in the long run, but it’d just be a shame to see him Ted Dibiase-ing after a Shield split. While there’s plenty of time between now and Summerslam to give him more of a character and a purpose to oppose the other two, they’re so strong as a team right now that I think they could go another year without needing to be divided.

    OVER.

    Continue reading

    WCW Comic Book Reading Club: Issue Two, Page 14

    WCW: The Comic Book was published in the early 90s by Marvel Comics. Nobody in wrestling or comics paid it much attention, and after 12 issues, it was cancelled and lost to the ages. Until now.

    On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, @tomblackett will post a new page of the WCW comic with his comments and we’ll read through it together. We’ll be there for each other, through the good (Vader! The Steiners! Sting! Cactus Jack!) and the (Johnny B.) Badd.

    WCW: The Comic (Issue Two, Page 14)

    wcw2-14

    WCW: The Comic is probably the property of Marvel Comics / WWE, though I’m not entirely sure. This website makes no claims to own it; all panels and images are posted in the spirit of fair use and are the property of their respective owners and creators. Continue reading

    Awkward Moment of the Week: WWE Hair Changes

    Let’s be honest. Wrestling is weird. This a feature that highlights the pictures, videos, tweets and moments from the wrestling world that feels too weird to be true.

    This week’s awkward moment? Sheamus and Mark Henry make some drastic hair changes. Is it prom season in the WWE?

    HAIR

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