• Monthly Archives: July 2013

    Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    After weeks of failed tests to determine who you want as Sexy Wrestler of The Week I finally took matters into my own hands and individually counted every single tweet and e-mail that contained a recommendation for this glorious and prestigious prize.

    Having done so, let me say this: I don’t know if we’re dealing with a bunch of trolls, hipsters, or jokesters around here on the Internet but I don’t think this week’s winner was nominated by people with good intentions.

    I’m all for it… but there’s something fishy afoot here.

    Mark Henry Sexy Wrestler of The Week

    Your Sexy Wrestler of The Week is… Mark Henry.

    Look, I like Mark Henry. He’s totally revamped his career and has been one of my favorite people to watch recently but to say he beat Adam Cole hurts my heart. In fact, for any of you to vote on someone that wasn’t Adam Cole is concerning. It’s fine that Henry won if you really wanted him to, but I just think you all were being mean.

    Now we’ve gotten that out the way, let’s not forget that today marks the end of Adam Cole’s streak as Sexy Wrestler of The Week. We should all hold a moment of silence for the sexiest of all time, Adam Cole.

    It seems like only last week I was typing “Adam Cole wins again,” but I guess all good things must come to an end.

    adam-cole-sexy-4-life

    Look at that hair… just… oh yeah, umm… anyway, let’s not forget what Adam Cole has done for us.

    The countless smiles, the good times, and the hours of fun we’ve spent watching him wrestle. Do not forget that you can always vote for him again, but for now, I’ll leave you with this tribute video:

    Thank You Adam Cole. You’ll always be number one in my… I mean, our hearts.

    The Merch Table: It Came From eBay

    Wrestling companies make merchandise. It’s usually pretty bad, but sometimes, it’s terrible. Welcome to The Merch Table.

    Every week, @TomBlargh will look at some of the awful merch that someone expects you to buy. Up this week: IT CAME FROM EBAY.

    It was only a matter of time, really. If Highspots is a lake of questionable merch, then eBay’s an ocean. I can’t possibly hope to cover everything in one column, but hopefully this gives you a taste of what the world’s biggest garage sale has to offer in terms of wrestling merchandise. LET’S GET STARTED.

    WWF Hulk Hogan Sleeping Bag

    So, you’re planning a sleepover. What’s the first thing you need to get? A SLEEPING BAG, DUH. Where are you gonna get one? EBAY, OF COURSE! Buying a used sleeping bag is BETTER than buying a new one because it’s already got that lived-in feel and smell!

    So you start searching around, seeing what’s out there and OH JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS THAT

    hogan-sleeping1

    …okay, woah, it’s just this listing’s featured picture of a Hulk Hogan sleeping bag.

    hogan-sleeping2

    I have literally no idea why they would choose that first picture as the one to really sell it, but hey, it got my attention (mostly because it reminded me of this though):

    sutherland-invasion

    So yeah, maybe not the best picture to use after all. Continue reading

    WCW Comic Book Reading Club: Issue One, Page 4

    WCW: The Comic Book was published in the early 90s by Marvel Comics. Nobody in wrestling or comics paid it much attention, and after 12 issues, it was cancelled and lost to the ages. Until now.

    On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, @tomblackett will post a new page of the WCW comic with his comments and we’ll read through it together. We’ll be there for each other, through the good (Vader! The Steiners! Sting! Cactus Jack!) and the (Johnny B.) Badd.

    WCW: The Comic (Issue One, Page 4)

    wcw1-page4

    WCW: The Comic is probably the property of Marvel Comics / WWE, though I’m not entirely sure. This website makes no claims to own it; all panels and images are posted in the spirit of fair use and are the property of their respective owners and creators. Continue reading

    Twitter Theater: Kurt Angle vs. Wafi Wahidi

    All the world’s a stage and pro wrestlers on Twitter are merely players.

    I’ve found that reading certain wrestlers interact on Twitter to be as fascinating as any form of entertainment so we had to put it all together with a ribbon and bow. Not literally. You get NO ribbons or bows. Sorry.

    Today, we look at the greatness that was Angle vs. Wahidi. There’s no way to give these two a worthy introduction so we’re gonna jump right in!

    Act I: When Kurt Met Wafi

    Angle1

    The story starts with Kurt Angle simply wanting to talk to Wafi Wahidi. Kurt gets off on the wrong foot by spelling Wafi’s name incorrectly. Would Wafi take this lightly?

    Angle2

    Kurt now spells his own twitter name (at the time, AngleFoods1) incorrectly. I want to believe Wahidi demanded this in their business relationship agreement. Call him back, Wafi! Continue reading

    Total Divas: The First (Last) Review

    Total Divas is the hot new reality show from WWE. The trailers made it look completely terrible, but being investigative journalists, we decided to find out for ourselves. We deeply regret our decision.

    Your crack review team consists of Wrestling On Earth’s own @typicalROHfan and @TomBlackett, as well as wrestling superfan and the man who said the WWE was his religion, Brad Ward (who you can follow on Twitter @BradWardFGN).

    What were we expecting?

    Brad Ward: 

    Heading into Total Divas I was expecting this to be an E! view of how the WWE Divas live their life, with a touch of the signature WWE production you normally expect. Remember, this is how WWE wants you to view the life of a WWE Diva, versus what actually happens. I know there might be some similarities, but I don’t expect it to be 100% real.

    However, I do believe the fun that the guys and gals have on the road together will be pretty clear.

    typicalROHfan:

    I think it’s gonna be bad. Really bad.

    Tom:

    I’m kind of not completely dreading it? I don’t really watch reality shows so there’s sort of a novelty factor for me going into this.

    BEST CASE SCENARIO: It ends up being as amazing as WWE’s last diva-focussed show, NXT Season 3.

    WORST CASE SCENARIO: Every other possible scenario, short of the one where it’s a solid hour of Daniel Bryan playing with puppies. Continue reading

    WCW Comic Book Reading Club: Issue One, Page 3

    WCW: The Comic Book was published in the early 90s by Marvel Comics. Nobody in wrestling or comics paid it much attention, and after 12 issues, it was cancelled and lost to the ages. Until now.

    On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, @tomblackett will post a new page of the WCW comic with his comments and we’ll read through it together. We’ll be there for each other, through the good (Vader! The Steiners! Sting! Cactus Jack!) and the (Johnny B.) Badd.

    WCW: The Comic (Issue One, Page 3)

    wcw1-page3

    WCW: The Comic is probably the property of Marvel Comics / WWE, though I’m not entirely sure. This website makes no claims to own it; all panels and images are posted in the spirit of fair use and are the property of their respective owners and creators. Continue reading

    Brad Quest: The Adventure Begins

    At Wrestling On Earth, we love pro wrestling superfan, Brad Ward. However, no-one loves Brad more than our controversial correspondent, Nightlife. Nightlife loves Brad so much that he’s written Brad Ward fantasy adventure fanfiction, and now we’re featuring it here because we love you.

    You can follow Brad Ward @BradWardFGN and Nightlife @AnimeKing420, but it’s impossible to write an introduction that properly explains Brad Quest unless you’re already familiar with their long and storied history so… look, just read it and have fun, okay? And if you want to submit your own tales or any other content ideas for Wrestling On Earth, just email us at wrestlingonearth@gmail.com.

    Chapter 1: The Adventure Begins

    The morning sun had ascended, bathing the frosty steppe in warm light. A man strode with purpose through the barren permafrost, his thick boots crushing ice underfoot. A hefty battleaxe hung at his side, animal furs adorning his muscled physique, his long hair flowing in the wind. Truly, he was an incredible physical specimen. Truly, he-

    “Braaaaaaaaaad, how much longer until the next town? My feet hurt.”

    Brad Ward, barbarian warrior from the frozen north, stopped and turned to his scrawny traveling partner, Nightlife. “God, shut UP,” Brad moaned. “We are still many miles from the next town. Do you not see this is a barren steppe?”

    “I’m from the south, Brad,” Nightlife replied, standing aside the chiseled warrior. Nightlife was a thief by trade, darting in and out of the shadows and people’s pockets, he and Brad brought together by a shared love for foreign drawings. Nightlife wore a cloak woven of the finest Eastern fibers, as black as night, and carried two daggers by his side. Tricky, sneaky, and ever crafty, Nightlife was the finesse that accented Brad’s raw power. Even so, this little southerner was getting on Brad’s nerves.

    “Relax, little one,” Brad said.

    “LITTLE ONE?!?!?” Nightlife screamed.

    “Calm the fuck down,” Brad said, flexing his huge biceps. Nightlife responded to this show of force by wisely backing off. “Our destination will be reached before you know it.”

    Continue reading

    ROH World Title Tournament Preview

    rohbrackets-new

    When reading about Ring of Honor quitting on live iPPVs, Jay Briscoe leaving and a new champion not being crowned until late September, it felt as if ROH was on a major downswing. The long tournament seemed like a terrible idea under the assumption it would just be the normal guys on the roster. However, with the names being announced, my stance changed drastically.

    The combination of the influx of new guys, returning talent and many members of the current roster having something important to prove has gotten me really excited to see how this tournament unfolds.

    Let’s take a look at all of the participants and their chances of winning, what they have to prove and what overall fun each provides:

    Michael Elgin:

    Easily the favorite. Winning a big tournament, defeating some bigger names and having awesome matches gives him the best road to the title. Personally I thought it would have been a bad call to go with him beating Jay for the title as I couldn’t see that creating a big  enough moment for the title change. This tournament gives an opportunity to add what that outcome would have lacked.

    If I’m predicting, I definitely go with the chalk and expect Elgin to win. Even if he doesn’t, he always has great matches with great wrestlers and that won’t change. Continue reading